it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
