I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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