I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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