I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
Randomize
