Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
She dressed up in a sexy maid outfit for me, but she got mad when I asked her to actually do some cleaning.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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