Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
