I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
Because 9 pm Thursday you drink a loco cause you just wanna get drunk and have a good time with your friends. Then you wake up on Tuesday and you've had 17 locos and you're pregnant, lying on the side of the road, 3 states over. THAT'S why we don't have only locos parties.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
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