Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
