Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
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