I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Randomize
