Me too!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Holy sore nipples Batman
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
