she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Randomize
