he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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