both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
Randomize
