Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Randomize
