we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize