I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
