Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
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