Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
