So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
