Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
Randomize
