Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
i dont even know how to be here
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
