Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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