Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
Randomize
