When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
