Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
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