you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
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