I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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