I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
