I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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