he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
