The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Randomize
