i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
