Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
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