A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
4 words: hood of his car
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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