Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
At one point they were sandwiching me, both petting my stomach, mad dogging each other. Then they somehow telepathically decided to both try to pull my pants down. Such nice guys.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
