brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
