I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
thus making me awesome and them whores
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
