hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
