if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
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