Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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