got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize
