I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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