Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
