I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
how drunk are you?
Several
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
Randomize
