just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
Randomize
