in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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