I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
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