So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Randomize
