I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
